Yesterday night after getting done with a movie Ang and I were watching, I got up and walked towards our dining room. Ang asked where I was going and I didn't say anything at first. I mostly just stared at the object of my desire...
A NERDS GUMBALL
yes, it came to that. I was getting past food, but I still REALLY wanted to chew something.
Earlier in the month we were at a film festival in Austin, TX called Butt Numb A Thon. As part of the event this year, they held a costume contest. Saying that there would be cool prizes, Angela and I decided that it would be worthwhile to try and find something to wear. Angela and her mom had sewn a Wonder Woman costume when her mom visited earlier this fall so she wore that, but I couldn't figure out what I was going to do. Thinking about what I had on hand, I remembered a party I had thrown a few years before... a Lebowski party.
I love The Big Lebowski. I think it might be my favorite Coen Brothers movie. To this day, I'm sad that I wasn't one of the people that went and saw it in the theater. I was still upset at the Coens for their portrayal of residents of the Twin Cities in Fargo. To this day when I say I'm from Minneapolis/St. Paul, people go "yaaaaaaah. you betcha." or "uff da". I was bitter.
I discovered Lebowski on video though, and upon finding it, proceeded to show it to just about everyone I know. Some got it, some didn't.
Seemingly every weekend, back when I was living in the Twin Cities, I organized some social gathering for our little group of people. Running out of ideas, I decided that it was time for the Lebowski-fest. People were encouraged to show up as any of the characters in the film. We had a nihilist, we had a Maude, there was a Jesus Quintana and there I was, still with my gotee as the Dude.
We watched the film and went off to the bowling alley... me still in my pajama pants and big wool zip up 70s sweater; head encased in the most glorious mullet wig I've ever owned (I know it's not especially Lebowski-esque, but it worked).
Anyway, back to the present.
I still had most of the Lebowski stuff around, and it's a fairly easy costume anyways, so that was the plan. I went to Zeezo's, a local Colorado Springs costume shop and picked up a fake mustache and beard, along with the glue to attach it. A new less mullet-ey wig crowned the deal. Stashing everything in a bowling bag (an easy way to haul the costume into the Alamo Drafthouse) the plan was in place.
Earlier we had heard that the costume contest was going to be held close to midnight. Midnight came and went during BNAT and no costume contest appeared. Before the final film of the night, they announced that it was time to change. Quickly spreading the adhesive on my face to attach my freshly mussed up gotee pieces I got quite a few odd stares in the Drafthouse bathroom. With a certain poise (as one needs when one is traipsing around a movie theater with a mullet wig, fake gotee, bath robe, pajama pants and bowling bag) I made my way back into the theater.
Bringing everyone on the stage, they had the seven of us introduce ourselves. Surprisingly, there weren't more people in the competition. I imagine people mostly just didn't want to haul stuff with them to the theater. Seussian Thing One and Thing Two introduced themselves, Barbarella introduced herself, Angela twirled around in her Wonder Woman costume, and then the microphone got handed to me.
"C'mon man, YOOOOU'RE MR. LEBOWSKI. I'm the Dude! Or El Duderino or His Dudeness." A Cheer erupted from the crowd. Some guy in the back shouted "The Dude Abides!" and another cheer erupted. I lifted my bowling bag up high. It was pretty cinematic.
Michael Dougherty, the director of Trick 'R Treat, the film we were about to watch judged that we were all winners and gave us all a pretty cool art book from the film. While he was handing out the books, the wait staff of the drafthouse had distributed little bags of halloween candy to everyone in the audience. Sitting in that bag was the gumball that I now was eyeing with an appreciation that one should NEVER have for a gumball.
Back to the present...
What was left of Ang and my combined bags of candy travelled back to Colorado and had been sitting on our dining room table amidst all of the pieces of paper detritus that inevitably converge there (another one of my 2008 resolutions, I'm afraid). Each day of this fast, I've looked at the couple of remaining gumballs and almost lusted after them, anxious for something to chew. Ang, seeing that I was eyeing the gumball and steered me away from it.
"If you're going to chew something, at least let it be sugar free."
She grabbed a package of Trident and a package of Green Tea gum I had bought her on clearance at Target and thrust them into my hand. I took the trident from her, took a piece, and chewed on that. Surprisingly, it wasn't as good as I thought it would be. Chewing it for a few minutes before spitting it out, it felt good to get it out of my system. The nerds gumballs still sit on my dining room table, I can't bring myself to throw the candy out. Maybe at some point I will. But for the moment....
the gum obsession has passed.
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