I had a slight headache this afternoon. It's hard to tell if it's still there. Had a little grape juice when I got home from work before the workout. I'm going to have some more juice in a minute.
For some reason on the treadmill my emotions started flowing. There was this aggressiveness that came out... thinking about running and beating a friend that's shown me up in the past while cycling. I'm not sure where it came from but it was pretty caustic. Towards the end of the walk/jog, I put on Peter Gabriel's In Your Eyes and went in a completely different emotional direction. Is this fasting male PMS?
I meant to post this section from a book on fasting I read the other day called The Sacred Art of Fasting. It's from Charles Cummings, a Cistercian Monk.
The more I try to make Christ the center of my life and thoughts and actions, the more I feel every pull and tug that draws me back from the radical, loving surrender of myself. I am not totally free to run toward the one I love. Instead, I feel enchained, entangled by a thousand little threads that together form a strong rope binding me to myself. Detaching myself from the bonds is largely a matter of self discipline and asceticism. Paradoxically, self-discipline sets me free for God. Self-discipline is a training in freedom. I am free to take something comfortable and pleasurable, or to eat and drink more, or to sleep longer, but I am also free to refrain from these things and not let myself be held bound by them. True Christian freedom is the freedom of those who live no longer for themselves, the freedom of being a new creation in Christ (2 Cor. 5:15, 17). The movement of self-discipline leads out of bondage to the self into an experience of newness and freedom, then back again to a liberated use and appreciation and enjoyment of material goods, in moderation, without becoming entangled again by a thousand little threads...
I hope that that's the case. I'm holding on to that and praying that that's true. More tomorrow.
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